Circles

A phrase I have started using frequently but a more appropriate term would be serendipity. The feeling you get when one of your sense responses sends chills up your spine. When you can’t explain something or a connection to someone you wouldn’t otherwise have logically. We typically meet people who we become romantically involved with at our workplace or through our work. This makes sense from shared common experience, but not if you work with very few people, or work remotely. The next best way would be to meet someone at an event or place you might have in common. But how often do we travel alone and if we are with friends or family, how likely is it that we will engage in a lengthy conversation with a stranger we’ve just met and while ignoring who we are with. Then there are dating sites. No offense. But why does everyone on a dating site either look like they used a picture taken at Glamour Shots in the late 80’s or lie? I suspect because we all understand and suspect we will be judged inappropriately anyways.

I never thought I would meet someone who was perpetually happy being single then all of the sudden, isn’t. Then those chills, up my spine and oh my. What the hell is happening? What is it about her? I can usually convince myself that it would never work out-she is probably straight for one thing. That’s a problem for sure. But, what if she isn’t? I can’t blow this. It would take two minutes to resolve this question and just ask her out for coffee. But if she declines, it’s over. If I just keep analyzing at least the possible dissappointment will happen at a later date. But, is it weird to ask someone out for coffee you only know because your paths have crossed briefly and just a handful of times?

Welcome to the inside of my head. I imagine to keep it going I need some crazy amount of glucose mixed with caffeine. I’ve already edited this twice so it is APA concise, minus the contractions needed for emphasis. The first and only other time I had this feeling, I was able to send an email as we both attended the same university. She quickly guessed who I was and we met for coffee. I have no regrets. I was exactly who I needed to be to nurture a partner then, I just wasn’t enough for her.

I have been single, minus a few dates, for such a long time I just expected I would stay perfectly content this way. But then I saw a gentle, yet quirkiness about her during a brief interaction that I just can’t forget.


I imagine if we were to take a walk on a cold Maine evening, I could not help but check to make sure her ears aren’t freezing.